Lenny: Oh good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks!Ĭarl: Oh no! Them pointy rocks broke his arms and legs. Lenny: Oh good! He snagged that tree branch. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.Ĭarl: Oh no! Homer's going over those falls! The following tale of alien encounters is true. Homer: Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.' President, There are too many states nowadays. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl? Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way. Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power, you strap in and feel the cheese! Marge: (After Homer telling her that he's changed his name to Max Power) I don't want to snuggle with Max Power! Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt. Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl. Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries. Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life? Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Homer: My dad's a disgrace, just like Bart's dad, me!īart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I.M.P Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. Homer: Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you. Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman! They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday. Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star. (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man. Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services! Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut! Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son." Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.īart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.īart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
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